


Kitty Cat Keeper

by mercutiglo



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Cats, F/M, Fluff, M/M, also it's rita/juno as friends, i love rita so much, like genuine cute shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 05:55:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14994245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercutiglo/pseuds/mercutiglo
Summary: Don't let Rita near a cute cuddly face.





	Kitty Cat Keeper

The comms rang. “Mistah Steel, are you at home right now? I know you said I’m not supposed to call you on the weekends, but….”

Juno was flipping through the channels on the TV when Rita had called. There was nothing on that really interested him, so he figured whatever disaster Rita had managed to find wouldn’t be interrupting anything important. “What is it this time, Rita?”

“Well, so, you know my friend Franny, she-

“You know Rita, I’ve never actually met her, so I don’t know her.”

“Okay, but Boss, I talk about her all the time! Anyway, so her neighbor’s boyfriend’s cousin ended up having…. Well, you know, I think it’s better if I show you. Can I come over?”

“Rita, you know I hate surprises.”

“Well then, good thing I called before just entering your apartment.” The line clicked dead, and Juno looked up to see the deadbolt in his door sliding back. He was really going to have to talk to Rita about copying keys and…. What was that noise? Besides Rita struggling with the other four locks on his door, all with separate keys, there was a noise that sounded something like….

Rita opened the door and picked up from behind her what looked like a pet carrier. And that’s when Juno heard the meowing for sure.

“Rita.” He looked up from the pet carrier towards Rita, one eyebrow raised.

“Mistah Steel.”

“Why did you bring a cat to my apartment?”

Rita set the cat down, and sat in the other chair that occupied his minimally furnished living room. “Well, as I was sayin’, Franny’s neighbor’s boyfriend’s cousin’s cat ended up havin’ a bunch of kittens and they needed someone to take them! Be glad I only brought you one, Mistah Steel, there were at least a dozen other cute little kitty faces I could’ve brought you!”

Juno looked at the cage the tiny black and white kitten was in. It looked pathetic, like it could probably use a bath. Juno looked up at Rita again, without saying anything, and looked back at the cat. Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure if there was anything in his rental contract that said he couldn’t have any pets. “Fine.”

Rita’s face lit up like he had just said her favorite daytime soap had been renewed for another season and her favorite characters were getting married. “Really?! You’ll take him, Mistah Steel? For real?”

He sighed, and got up from his chair to go over to the cage. “Yes Rita. For real.”

She jumped up and hugged him before he could stoop over to opened the door to the carrier, and he froze in place. “Oh, Mistah Steel, I’m so happy! Thank you thank you thank you! What’re ya gonna name him?” She finally let go after his silence reminded her that she was still holding him, which was preventing him from holding the kitten that was now his. He picked him up, gently, trying to keep him from jumping out of his hands.

The little guy was in need of a bath even more now that Juno could look at him in the light, and probably needed shots as well considering the state of him. He stared at his face. The little guy had a scar over one of his eyes, making him unable to see out of it. His other pupil was blown out, probably terrified by his new surroundings and the one-eyed PI holding him, but he made Juno smile. Rita could’ve picked any of the other kittens, but knew that the one with only one eye would be the one that Juno liked best. “I think I might name him Max.” He looked at Rita and gave her a little smirk. “Or maybe One-Eyed McGee.”

Rita’s face broke, tears instantly welling up. “Oh Mistah Steel I’m sorry I shouldn’t have gotten ya the one with only one eye I thought it might be nice you know then the both of you would be able to -”

Juno set down the kitten on the arm of the chair they were standing next to, and put his hands on her shoulders. “Rita, I was kidding. I love him. You chose a good kitten. I’m going with Max.”

She sniffled a little bit and wiped away the water in her eyes that threatened to spill over. “I’m glad ya like him, Mistah Steel.”

He picked up Max again. “This means you get to go to the store and get me cat supplies. Like a collar, and a litter box, and some bowls, and a bed, and all the other stuff a cat needs. You can play with him when you get back, okay?”

She perked up, immediately gathering all her things. “You got it Mistah Steel! Rita is on the case!”  
She raced out of the apartment.

 

\----

 

Not even two minutes later, Juno heard another knocking on the door. Max made a run for Juno’s bedroom, running away from the loud noise, meowing loudly as he did so. He didn’t know who would be at the - “Juno? Was that…. A cat?”

Juno had been chasing after Max, in part because he didn’t remember if his bedroom window was open or not, but paused for only a moment when he heard whose voice it was. “Just, come in. I’m in the bedroom, the door’s unlocked!” He heard the door open and close while he got down on his stomach to look for Max under the bed. He was just under the edge, so Juno was able to scoop him into his arms and get up so he could sit on the bed.

“You know Juno, you usually aren’t quite so eager to move to the - That’s an actual cat.” Peter stopped in the doorway, confused as to whose cat it was Juno now held in his arms, and why the cat seemed to cling to him like a lifeline. “Why do you have a cat?”

“Rita’s….Someone gave Rita a cat, which she then gave to me. She just ran off to the store to go get some stuff for him. His name’s Max.” Peter sat down next to Juno on the bed, and stuck a finger out to scratch Max’s head. He instantly jumped from Juno over to Peter. Juno laughed. “Looks like he likes you too.” He heard his comms ringing, and pulled it out of his pocket to see that it was Rita. “Oh no.”

Peter looked up. “Who is it?”

Juno sighed. “Rita. At the pet store.” He accepted the call. “What now?”

“Sooooooooooooooo, how many more cute little kitty faces can I get for you to play with?”

Peter’s eyes went wide, having heard what came through the line. Juno just groaned, and fell face first into the bed.

He had a feeling Max was about to get a lot of new friends.

**Author's Note:**

> I get way too into writing Rita. I didn't have anyone look over this, so if there are mistakes, lmk. If you enjoyed it, please kudos and/or comment. I'm trying to write more and more shit, so watch out world, here comes more bullshit.


End file.
